Twin Fantasy

by Car Seat Headrest

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1.
My boy, we don't see each other much it'll take some time but somewhere down the line we won't be alone
2.
Last night I drove to Harper’s Ferry and I thought about you there were signs on the road that warned me of stop signs the speed limit kept decreasing by ten as we entered a town about halfway there it was almost raining at the train station we put our hoods on our heads at the train station we threw rocks into the river the river underneath the train tracks And when the train came it was so big and powerful when it came into the little station I wanted to put my arms around it but the conductor looked at me funny so we had to say goodbye and leave the monopoly board still in the backseat took that nightmare left turn to get out of town ran into the decreasing speed limits again What should I do? Eat breakfast What should I do? Eat lunch What should I do? Eat dinner What should I do? Go to bed Where can I go? Go to the store Where can I go? Apply for jobs Where can I go? Go to a friend’s Where can I go? Go to bed I wrote beach death when I thought you were taken I wrote beach funeral when I knew you were taken I wrote beach fags, well it wasn’t about you but it could’ve been. well no it couldn’t have I spent a week in Ocean City and came back to find you were gone I spent a week in Illinois and came back to find you were still gone I pretended I was drunk when I came out to my friends I never came out to my friends We were all on S---- and I laughed and changed the subject she said “what’s with this dog motif” I said “do you have something against dogs” I am almost completely soulless I am incapable of being human I am incapable of being inhuman I am living uncontrollably It should be antidepression as a friend of mine suggested because it’s not the sadness that hurts you it’s the brain’s reaction against it It’s not enough to love the unreal I am inseparable from the impossible I I want gravity to stop for me My soul yearns for a fugitive from the laws of nature I want a cut scene I want a cut from your face to my face I want a cut I want the next related video I don’t want to go insane I don’t want to have schizophrenia The ocean washed over your grave Part II Last night I dreamed he was trying to kill you I woke up and I was trying to kill you It’s been a year since we first met I don’t know if we’re boyfriends yet Do you have any crimes that we can use to pass the time I’m running out of drugs to try We said we hated humans We wanted to be humans Get more groceries get eaten get more groceries get eaten get more groceries get eaten A book of Aubrey Beardsley art corrupted me in youth now I’m trapped inside my youth and you’re in love with late-stage youth Thank god for the little things and and fuck god that they’re little things I am running out of prayers to sing And pretty soon you’ll find some nice young satanist with braces and one capital o significant Other and you can take him home to your mother and say ma, this is my brother We said we hated humans We wanted to be humans Get more groceries get eaten get more groceries get eaten get more groceries Get eaten by the one you love when they put their lips around you you can feel their smile from the inside Part III Last night I dreamed he was trying to kill you I woke up and I was trying to kill you Your ears perked up I perked up when your ears perked up you were all looking around and I hoped it was for me I hoped you were using your sonar systems for me The ancients saw it coming you can see that they tried to warn them in the tales that they told their children but they fell out of their heads in the morning They said sex can be frightening but the children were not listening and the children cut out everything except for the kissing and the singing when they finally found their home at W--- D----- studios and then everyone grew up with their fundamental schemas fucked but there are lots of fish left in the sea there are lots of fish in business suits that talk and walk on human feet and visit doctors, have weak knees oh please let me join your cult I’ll paint my face in your colors You had a real nice face I had an early death The ocean washed over your grave The ocean washed open your grave (how’s your face? How’s your body?) (WE’RE TOO SCARED TO DO SHIT)
3.
Stop Smoking 01:27
4.
Lovely lovely in your jeans, frenzy another movie that I didn’t watch with you another movie and I’m gonna have to move That final terror is in your house somewhere Hiding in boxes, behind closed doorways Out from the forest adjacent to your garage I’ve seen its marks at the corners of your eyes Nothing works Nothing works for everyone Good stories are bad lives Good stories are bad lives Take your hands off your neck and hold On to the ghost of my body You know that good lives make bad stories You can text me When punching mattresses gets old Don’t think it’ll always be this way Not comforted by anything I say We were wrecks before we crashed into each other Such a good idea If it turns you on We have breakdowns And sometimes we don’t have breakdowns I want to hear you going psycho If you’re going psycho I wanna hear Every conversation just ends with you screaming Not even words, just ahh-ahh-ahh Take my hands off your neck and hold On to the ghost of your body I know that good lives make bad stories You can text me When punching mattresses gets old What if it’ll always be this way Not comforted by anything you say We were wrecks before we crashed into each other Don’t worry You and me won’t be alone no more
5.
You should’ve seen my cursive back then Every letter was above the line My p’s and q’s raised their stems So nothing crossed beneath I’m a little better now You galvanistic young boy You galvanistic young man You galvanistic young inhuman You understand Art gets what it wants and art gets what it deserves Most people are jokes but you’re so real Most of the time that I use the word “you” Well you know that I’m mostly singing about you You swore you’d never use The face that your ex invented So let’s meet up in Uncanny valley You galvanistic young boy You galvanistic young man You galvanistic young inhuman You understand You’ll get what you want and you’ll get what you deserve
6.
Bodys 06:15
That’s not what I meant to say at all I mean, I’m sick of meaning I just wanna hold you But that’s not what I wanted to say at all I mean, I’m sick of meaning I just wanna hold you (Is it the chorus yet? No. It’s just a building of the verse So when the chorus does come, it’ll be more rewarding.) I would speak to you in song But you can’t sing As far as I’m aware Though everyone can sing As you are well aware I keep so quiet It’s hard to tell I’m alive Everybody’s swinging their hips Everybody’s giving the waitress tips Everybody’s dancing all of the dances Everybody’s dancing every dance now Those are you got some nice shoulders I’d like to put my hands around them I’d like to put my hands around them I have enough trouble controlling my own limbs Stealing alcohol from our parents and grandparents There’s no devil on one shoulder and angel on the other They’re just two normal people These are the people that I get drunk with These are the people that I fell in love with These are the people that I get drunk with These are the people that I fell in love with But if you keep giving me your empty hands man I am tempted to say let’s piss up another rope boys this one has grown old and bitter Well, so what? So what? We’re young We’re thin (most of us) We’re alive (most of us) Don’t you realize our bodies could fall apart at any second? I am terrified your body could fall apart at any second Those are you got some nice shoulders I'd like to put my hands around them We can get real horny And keep messing around We can keep real quiet Won’t be making no sounds I’ll try my best not to touch your face Next time can we please meet at my place I know that I don’t talk a lot But I know that you don’t care a lot As long as we move our bodies around a lot We’ll forget that we forgot how to talk When we dance
7.
Cute Thing 05:21
I got so fucking romantic I apologize Lemme light your cigarette Come visit Kansas for a week of debauchery Songs and high fives and weird sex Cute thing Don’t be rude, thing Hot thing It was nothing God Give me Dan Bejar’s voice And John Entwistle’s stage presence I will be your rock, God, when you’re rolling the dice I got so fucking romantic I apologize Lemme smoke your weed, no wait Healthy minds make sexy bodies Let us touch so much of ourselves together Cute thing Don’t be rude, thing Hot thing It was nothing Dog Give me one little chance I can make you a man I will be your rock, dog, when you’re rolling your eyes He died in an explosion Of mixed media and poorly written reviews And some stammering drunk who tried to tell him how good his shit was That is some good shit, man I accidentally spoke your first name aloud Trying to make it fit in the lyrics of Ana Ng, worked like a charm I would sleep naked Next to you naked Like some Stanley Kubrick porn director Casting couples, eyes wide shut for a reason
8.
I fell over I fell onto the ground I wish I was sober I can’t get up off the ground I closed my eyes And thought I was blind It’s the middle of the night And I’ll never be alright again And this wallpaper Keeps going round the room Keeps going round the room And I follow it around the room [the break down] And I sat there on the steps Considering death There were only seconds left of the night And I said hell is the sun Burning forever at the center of things A ball on fire at the center of things A brain on fire at the center of things And the sea isn’t green And I love this dream But how exactly can we Escape from behind the wall?
9.
Apologies to future mes and yous But I can’t help feeling like we’re through The ripping of the tape hurts my ears In my years I have never seen anyone quit quite like you do Twin bruises on my shins From where I kicked the back of the seat in They meant what I went through for you But now they’re fading, now they’re gone These teenage hands will never touch yours again I remember you You had a body You had hands and arms and legs and et cetera Stuck in a body stuck in a mind Stuck in one body Stuck in one mind for the rest of your life This is the rest of your life Why did God throw you down upon my head Making shock yellow light emit from my nostrils And smoke pour from my ears and my hair stand up on end I was fried alive and now I’m a target for next time Leviathan was powerful and inevitable I fell in love with my fate as it crushed me to death Oh God, let me see you one time, let me feel you one time Show me your power God, show me your power God Nacham Don’t get too impressed You might lose your breath Don’t predict your death Cause I like you the best Don’t you fall apart You might lose my heart You know I love your art The ocean washed over your grave The ocean washed open your grave He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.
10.
The show ain’t over They’ll keep on going They’ll keep on laughing And fucking around Off into the distance Those two brothers Those two lovers And their smooth cocked adventures They just want to be one Walk off into the sun They’re not kissing They’re not fucking They’re just having fun They were connected At the back of the head they got a conduit their minds are the same This ain’t the end We’ll see them again [This is the part of the song where Will gives up. He dissociates himself from his own romance until it becomes just a fantasy. This is not something that could happen to him; this is something that takes place only in his mind. But he blinks now, and shakes himself awake. He has rejoined society. Come, dear children, call no more. He has only lyrics now.] When I come back you’ll still be here

about

by Will Toledo

download to get a lyrics sheet with illustrations by Cate Wurtz (lamezone.net)

credits

released November 2, 2011

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Car Seat Headrest

MADLO 2020. Band pic by Carlos Cruz.

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