The other night I cried while thinking of having sex with you Not out of desire or shame but some subconscious impulse to feel pain I wiped my tears on my face and neck and the backs of my ears And said “now it’s sweat. Now it’s sweat. It’s sweat now” Just to see you It’s such a treasure But when I feel you My flesh yields no pleasure And honey I’m cultured I’m very sex positive So what is this feeling It ain’t so positive I can’t tell you if I like it I like it What happens if I don’t like it? I like you I can’t tell you if I like it I like it What happens if I don’t like it? It’s only Ok, so I’ve been reading all the sex blogs, and they all talk about how ok it is to be gay and straight and bisexual and asexual and have sex however you like. But I don’t care about hundreds of hypothetical people and their hypothetical sex deals, I care about me, and my sex deal! What about my problems? Baby my body Constantly betrays me I try to betray it I only hurt myself It didn’t just singe the hair, it made it straight I can’t tell you if I like it I like it What happens if I don’t like it? I like it I can’t tell you if I like it I like it What happens if I don’t like it? It’s only It’s only sex It’s only It’s only sex Come on, sexual desire, speak! I want to hold you tight I want to feel your love physically I want to sleep with you But only in the literal sense I can’t tell you if I like it I like it What happens if I don’t like it? I like you I can’t tell you if I like it I like it What happens if I don’t like it? It’s only sex!

I should be glad to have you back But this time around, something’s turned to black Your pale body a projection screen I know every frame, so many times that I’ve seen - Will it be like before? Will it ever be the same? If we reuse the cels Would the color start to fade? It’s history that hasn’t happened yet Last time I cried, this time I sweat And doesn’t it seem an awful waste That all of our cells will get replaced? Will it be like before? Will it ever be the same? If we reuse the cels Would the color start to fade? Will it be like before? Will I lose you again? If we reuse ourselves Could there be any other end? If it’s just like before If I’m losing you again Still we reuse the cels

Sick in the hot, hot bathroom Glasses steamed, I couldn’t see And wasn’t it a lovely time? Didn’t we have such a time? Home in the cold cold morning Roommate’s sick, I’m disturbing his sleep And wasn’t it a lovely time? Didn’t we have such a time? wasn't I the life and soul? what drugs can I take to make me enjoy this? I wish I was drunk I wish I weren’t here I need to be more drunk Or be less here And when the cops came Hiding in the back of the closet And these people would not stop laughing They could not shut their mouths You wouldn’t think having a good time would be so goddamn hard You wouldn’t think having a good time would be so goddamn hard You overthink, you don’t have a good time, you just wait for it to end You don’t think you’ll ever try something as meaningless as this ever again

I am a thief of unimportant things I am a cheat and I can’t do anything to stop myself I have no code, there is no road I’m traveling down There’s only footprints leading away from the windowsill It’s a devil moon It’s a hollow moon There’s always half of the world in darkness at a time We’re always creeping towards that black horizon line Maybe if I tried, I could keep on the sunny side But I'm just too in tune with the moon

Goodbye, secret files when I'm gone all this information will die Goodbye, stupid smiles when you're gone all anyone will do is cry I used to enjoy losing money, but now all I do is win and now it's far too easy to be satisfied with things I used to enjoy being worried, but now everything is fine I wish I could go back to those unhappier times Cats crawl into gutters just at the sight of me You guys got mad skills I just got mad I used to enjoy losing money, but now all I do is win and now it's far too easy to be satisfied with things I used to enjoy being worried, but now everything is fine I wish I could go back to those unhappier times Goodbye, all you secret files when I'm gone all this information will die Goodbye, all you airline miles when I'm gone I won't have it in me to