Nervous Young Man

by Car Seat Headrest

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touringaimlessbeachfangz
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touringaimlessbeachfangz The hardcore fans love this album for a good reason. Its overshadowed by the great stuff that came before and after it. It's hard to compete with those albums but songs like "Homes" and "Some Strange Angel" gets stuck in my head for days at a time. That's why I chose to purchase this project before I did the rest (and I plan to buy the whole discography). The most songs to ever go on a Car Seat Headrest project its definitely worth it. Favorite track: Homes.
Not Conor
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Not Conor I fucking love this album so much
bike_abuser
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bike_abuser Yeah Twin Fantasy is a masterpiece but this... this is an existential crisis. Nothing tops that.
Wills ability to make such a well articulated album on such a distant concept is insane. The lyrics easily pick up where the sound lacks Favorite track: Burning Man.
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1.
Boxing Day 15:34
The early bird catches the worm, I have worms in mousetraps, baby I did something bad, I’m not allowed to go outside anymore I can only be awake at night for the next year of my life In the freshly dug earth in front of the cabin I feel so haunted Seeing the world in petals, everything made of roses I know cause when I close my eyes I see red spots Seeing the world in petals, everything made of roses I know cause when I close my eyes I see red spots I feel so haunted Is there some rule that guys can never talk about everything They just watch the girls go by How are you tonight? Just look straight ahead Are you still in school? Promise me you’ll go inside when I leave I don’t want you hanging around Please don’t fight, please don’t argue I’m just looking out for you There’s a crack in my window, all the peeping toms come and peep Whenever I’m in the nude, they all line up down the streets No one seems to notice, no one seems to care It doesn’t really matter, I’ll just put on my underwear I’m getting haunted I know I'm drunk again and I've said enough for the night but there's a skin I'd like to steal a house to sleep in where I won't have bad dreams but I have so much to fear get some exercise, get me exorcised but do we ever really heal? These problems are familiar, these songs that I've been singing for God, it feels like years Promise me you’ll go inside when I leave I don’t want you hanging around Please don’t fight, please don’t argue I’m just looking out for you I feel so haunted The early bird catches the worm...and I have...worms in fishhooks...and dogs in dogtraps...and cats in cattraps. But baby, I still feel like I can't get outta something.... If I stacked up all the hours I wasted I could climb straight to heaven
2.
We can’t afford your depression anymore We can’t afford this depression anymore Every minute that we spend There is something to break down for So just change key Keep your mind on me You’ve got a lot to live for You’ve got a lot to go for We can share a room, share a bed, save rent as cellmates You’d think it was a crime to be alive (that’s your depression talking) We’re living in squalor That’s the name of this house This house is called squalor by all There’s a door broken somewhere but I never can remember quite where We can’t afford our depression anymore We can’t afford this depression anymore How can we ever make a living? Our job is trying not to die So just change key Keep your mind on me You’ve got a lot to live for You’ve got a lot to go for We’d be starving artists if we were artists But we won’t let ourselves become the art (no we’ll never sink that low) Remember when we made jokes? Now we’re too poor for laughter No, fuck it, we’re too poor to be serious So make me laugh again We can’t afford my depression anymore We can’t afford this depression anymore Every minute someone else Is having a better time than us babe So just change key Keep your mind on me You’ve got a lot to live for You’ve got a lot to go for I’ve seen some things that I won’t forget Ashtray carpets and starving pets If it’s out of our hands then we’d better regret We spent the rest on cigarettes I don’t know how to make you happy
3.
I was thinking of ways I could get you Now I’m thinking of ways to forget you I was finished the minute I let you in my bed I stayed up late bitching About being awake Until you said “For God’s sake” That’s what you said I don’t want a merry Christmas I don’t want these naked pictures That you took under some fictional name I don’t want to lie awake thinking “oh, is that what that was about?” Because everything falls into place So late so late but I gotta – wanna figure it out Now that I got you I won’t get nothing out of you no more A couple hours, yeah, it was good I’d leave by fire escape if I could But you’re in my home, I took you here myself And you came on your own Into my unknown Did you do it for me alone or your own health? I wanted you tonight Pretty soon it must get light Just when I thought I might sleep some more I listened to you sleep talking closed my eyes and started nodding When someone started knocking on the door (Where’s the drum? Where are the drums?) It’s not going to happen It’s not going to It’s not going to work out I know we had plans to It’s not going to happen It’s not going to It’s not going to work out Now that I know you No no no no no no no no Learned to turn the light off After I jerked off, I opened my eyes and saw nothing A line of light underneath the door was all that I needed
4.
Homes 06:30
A house without a piano Just a stereo I used to play but now I’ve Got this stereo You brought it with you when you moved in So we would never be alone Always something in the background And I’m always almost punched But I escape With just a hint of a black eye And we’re always almost over But then we wake up And it’s already one o’clock And I hope I can change I hope I can change But oh my god It’s so hard And what if this Is who I am (not our fault that the cops are assholes) Forte without piano Never stop complaining It’s what I love about you You never stop complaining Next step is buckets out When we start raining Let’s go out tonight Because our home is falling apart And you’re always almost punched But you escape With just a hint of a black eye And we’re always almost over But then we wake up And it’s already two o’clock And I hope I can change People are dying, I hope I can change But oh my god It’s so hard And what if this Is who I am (Remember when I made jokes? The joke’s on you, fucker, I never made any jokes I meant every word) If home is where I go to die If home is where I go to die And we’re always almost punched But we escape With just a hint of a black eye And I’m always almost sober By the time I have to drive you back home And we’re always almost over And then we are And I hope I can change I am dying, I hope I can change But oh my god It’s so hard And what if this Is who I am
5.
Afterglow 05:04
Mama said all your dreams will come true If you sleep in the right bed Tell me what time it is I have been working on my plan I’m gonna fall in love forever Won’t you tell me what time it is? How can wood live longer than me? How can glass live longer than me When it breaks so easily? What are you supposed to do after sex if you don’t smoke? How can you know what money tastes like if you’re broke? I’m not responsible for what happens after this song Why do you think mine are always so long? Mmm, gimme that afterglow I’ve got to be content with what I’ve got I know my soul must have lost its shine But there must still be time I still feel fine, ‘cept when I don’t Pray to the lord at every temptation Just 1 More, the call letters of my station And I try to live right, I try to keep sober Try to keep my friends close and keep myself closer But I break so easily What are you supposed to do after sex if you don’t smoke? How can you know what money tastes like if you’re broke? I’m not responsible for what happens after this song Why do you think mine are always so long? Mmm, gimme that afterglow I’ve got to be content with what I’ve got Mmm, gimme the afterglow I’ve got to be content not knowing what time it is No theme song will greet my feet on the street No credits sequence will rock me to sleep So hold me in your arms cause if there’s one thing in the world That I don’t want to end, it’s you
6.
Jerks 05:30
Do you want an accident to happen? Don’t think I don’t know what you’re asking for You think that I’m in love, punk You’ve been a punk since the day you were born I’ve never been good with weapons But you want me to teach you with my bare hands I really liked your solo album, but, punk, Don’t think I want to be in your band Cause you’re in love with jerks And I’m not confident I get concerned when accidents are happening Hate is raining down like piss Piercing my ears, yeah you’re out for blood, punk Don’t think I want to listen to this Careful with the love police! Maybe sunglasses to cover the bruises Maybe a hole in a bathroom stall Maybe somebody that you’re thinking of, punk Ain’t thinking about you at all Cause you’re in love with jerks And I’m not confident I wanna be your jerk Cause you in love with jerks Revival of the jerks You waste your life on jerks
7.
Lying on the floor Shattered ceramics There was so much of you to pick up Halloween plans Smashed by September There were so many pieces to pick up on On the floor You were so connected To the man sleeping under the table On the other side of the continent when you lost your content A stillborn beauty Is ghosting around in my head Your busted brains I would tenderly tuck into bed Little dishcloth in a tumbling dryer Little washcloth in a tumbling dryer Maybe your parents gave you a Lego set in middle school Maybe the kids in class smashed it to pieces Maybe they poured glue on your pet tarantulas Maybe they got stuck to each other and tore themselves apart I want my girls to save me Want them to burst in when the dagger’s at my neck I want my love to redeem me, let these killers finally see me I feel it growing in me at the brink of death Summon Doraemon Protector of innocents If you let them see you naked You can get a ride home (Danae receiving Jupiter in a shower of sulphuric acid) A thief (some young god) Stole the ending to this book (tore the canvas into shreds) And left us gibberish (bleeding paint) Ancient Greek letters (call you saint for a reason) Just another crossed out character I’ll scatter like birds I’ll go everywhere
8.
The Gun Song 16:05
[what Joe said:] I’m not hung up on you anymore, but here’s why I hung up behind every great love story lies a great suicide you can't give yourself completely and keep the man inside all the sentences I climbed halfway saw the heights of what I wanted to say and crawled from word to word trying to get back down the unending realization that it's never gonna end I spend half the day exhaling and the other half holding my breath Cause living underwater was never my strength In the depths you reside, the sun never sinks So let’s float to the bottom for one final drink There’s time for one more tonight it’s time to forget while the forgetting’s good I’ll burn all the promises I carved out of your woulds you said won't you come into arm's reach abandon your clothes and modes of speech an infant reborn you shall be helpless and afraid I’m waving goodbye every time you go to the store I hope you break your hand the next time you slam the door Because I burned my fingers every night When your own shaking hands wouldn’t give you a light And I said “Jesus Christ, my parents were right I never should’ve smoked you out” I’d hate to amputate this artificial limb But staring at you, my glass eyes are growing dim I can’t even blame you for looking so smug I have to admit you’re a hell of a drug So pack up the boxes, roll me up with the rug I’m not moving out, I’m just moving (Kissed) I kissed you, yes, but never on the mouth (masochist) you held the north while I conquered the south but I don't want a territorial breach so at the edge of the bed we'll meet and I want you to fuck me in your sleep it's the only way I'll know that you love me (cause there's always gotta be a new angle) Guns are loaded with silver bullets tonight But it’s useless, you kept me waiting until it was light But you can’t go out the way you came in In the arms of someone unaware of your sins Because I’ve been recording this whole fucking thing Now you can never use the same chord changes again (The first time was too fast The second time was just sad) If you’re wondering why I’m still willing to take the fall If I’m not getting fucked over, I’m not getting fucked at all But I never asked for immunity That’s the difference between you and me All I wanted was someone who was just like me And I hate myself for that It’s getting hard to talk about the past When you’ve copyrighted the present, no questions asked You can do whatever you want with my name But my body’s never been public domain So if you’re looking for somebody to blame Blame Walt Disney Studios I remember, I was walking around outside, talking to you on the phone We were both avoiding the parties we attended alone And I looked up at the drunken moon It was round and it was grey and it looked like the moon And I said “at least we’ve both got the moon” And you said “I’m inside” so I’ll try loving again and you’ll try living alone and we’ll meet at the end of this lifetime and compare notes (if bitterness is all that I have left I’ll be better at being bitter than anybody else) [what Joe’s Baby said:] I hate your receptionist She looks at me like I’m retarded When I’m filling out your forms I see your form behind the frosted glass But she says that you’re not there I’ll have to be content to wait If you felt some kind of stirring Against interpretation Why write these songs at all? Why not become didactic Tell everyone on the planet In plain English what you are But I am the gentle cannibal I promise to eat you softly You won’t notice a thing (Mariamme) you’re taking advice from Lady Macbeth (William, one shot two shots) when it’s out of your hands, you try to forget Mariamme, hold me tight I still wish you hadn’t listened to me I ain’t been right since the execution (if I could transfer your desires into belongings and then snoop through your belongings, you know I’d do it in a second) William, one shot two shots Whoever you are, just hold me tight I lost my love, my life, that - All I know is, one of us was supposed to kill the other Isn’t that what they mean when they say ‘lovers’? But murder is dirty, and peace comes cheap So here’s my new number, tell me when you’re free [the conclusion:] Down by the river I shot my baby Down by the river
9.
Goodbye Love 01:48
Sweet Maria, one leg out the window Waiting to escape by light of moon Can I spend a little longer with the other? Does it have to run so soon? Little Claudia, I can’t speak your language And I don’t mean to be unkind But when you put my hand upon your belly I don’t want to know what’s on your mind And you, my dear, the fairest of the blossoms Though you only bloom at night You’re at my side in sports and shorts in daytime Dear Alex, let our love lie in the light My mother used to say You gotta find somewhere to stay And the more you love, the more you say goodbye Well I can’t say she was wrong And my love for you is strong But I’m afraid I must be on, goodbye love Goodbye love, goodbye love, goodbye love
10.
The time has come to feel good about yourself You have your own skin and bones to call yourself And you will never ever be somebody else So pay your bills And have your children now You are endowed with your responsibilities You’ve got to choose from all these possibilities So when you go to bed you get down on your knees And find a God To give your body to Tomorrow wakes you up You find that it’s enough An ample time for you To live to grow To be your own You’re an adult and you can’t starve yourself to death You’ve got to seek help if you’re chronically depressed But you’re the only one who can say what’s for the best So close your ears And do not hear me now I can play the piano A B C D E F G
11.
I am not I am not I am not I am not I’m alive Hey boys, stop being so mean Calling your girlfriend names sweatshirts strings dangling under fluorescent lighting sweatshirt strings strangling inside the parking complex (W H A T I F F O R J U S T 1 N I G H T U T U R N E D N T O A N A N I M A L) No longer hampered by the weight of our SKIN.... we focus solely on the pleasures WITHIN...... abandoned hallways with the lights FLICKERING.... the empty parking lot we fold our BONES in..... street lights reflecting makes an asphalt HALO.... the night-time is the right-time come on let's GO.... it was much darker at the time don't you KNOW.... the color's faded out on this VIDEO.... LET'S GO!!!!
12.
I’m working pretty hard to keep it up I don’t know how to start, don’t know when to stop I just found out – hey! I’m a man I’ve got feelings and sweaty hands You can’t help what you look like You can only look like it When you tell me to hold you, what does it mean? Is it an invitation to be as I seem? I couldn’t say, I’m feeling nervous But if you ask then I’m at your service Just tell me what I’m asking for I’d like to know you better But the fears and social pressure that’s Affecting my affections How can I approach perfection thinking You are foreign language You are not real I know I ought to hide But I only wanna feel and I wouldn’t want to hurt you now Even if I had the chance Because you asked me to this dance Because you ask me now to dance In front of all my friends in front of Everyone I know I am dancing I am dancing And I don’t want to dance slow I wanna sweat I want to know what your weaknesses are Come on and tell me what your weaknesses are There’s something different about you, you’re not me But you remember the things that I say The same heat that makes you blush Gives me a blood rush too What are you doing? People have died Shame on you for being alive No, there’s no shame in it Everybody does it It’s not unnatural It’s not illegal No one can tell you when to shine I’d like to know you better But the fears and social pressure that’s Affecting my affections How can I approach perfection thinking You are foreign language You are not real I know I ought to hide But I only wanna feel like I wouldn’t want to hurt you now Even if I had the chance Because you asked me to this dance Because you ask me now to dance In front of all my friends in front of Everyone I know I am dancing I am dancing And I don’t want to dance slow I wanna sweat
13.
Burning Man 05:32
Back from the sandstorms Back to looking at myself in the mirror I’ve seen the photographs Those clothes don’t fit me right these clothes don’t fit these clothes don’t fit Don’t go to San Francisco You won’t find yourself there Cause you’re already everywhere In every bathroom you wake up in Wash the glitter off your face Hands in the sink pray for God’s grace I don’t need no burning man I got my hotel room I don’t need no desert sand I’m going back home soon I don’t need no hot romance To last a day or two I don’t need no loving hands Cause now I know, now I know, now I know the truth If ugly is a word Then there are ugly people in the world And if there’s ugly people in the world I am one of them, I am defined But I’m ok with the mirror I’m ok with the brutal facts There’s other things to talk about We can talk about something else now Irony is all that I have Sincerity is all that I have I had to fear, I had to hate There was nothing else to it Being ok with it Would kill me Hmm hmm hmm, it’s not your business Please excuse me for a minute I don’t need no burning man I got my hotel room I don’t need no rock and roll band To help me play the blues I just need a government To name me and give me food I don’t need no loving hands Cause now I know, now I know, now I know the truth With water in my ears I couldn’t believe everyone could act so normal with water in their ears When I had water in my ears I could hear my own voice echoing inside my head No one can know my dreams Let’s keep this between you and me I don’t mean much without you You’re the other person in the room This is your side, this is my side By invisible shatterproof glass I wanna take a picture of you and then burn it I wanna take a photo of you and burn it I want a face like that
14.
Last night I dreamed I had to tell My parents about us When I woke up I was crying Mother shook me by the shoulders Said “you’re ruining your life!” I’m sorry that your bright young boy is dying I know I dishonored the family name But all I ever had was my heart And I wake up a kid In a bed miles from home But I’m too old to get a new start I’ve heard I talk in my sleep But my voice is too weak To hear the words I say I’ve been trying like hell To wake myself up But dreams fall hard today In a vision of death You breathe your last breath And all that I hold is cold embers And I sing in your ear But there’s nothing to hear Just a nightowl in burial chambers You say that you love me And I write it all down So when you’re gone I’ll remember But as I get old I find I can’t trust my own mind And your words all break down into laughter I’ve heard I talk in my sleep But my voice is too weak To make out the words I say I’ve been trying like hell To wake myself up But dreams fall hard today I watch myself falling apart My body can’t keep up with my heart What I see I can’t understand This sweet boy’s becoming a nervous old man I wake up with tears Not yet dried on my face No comfort in the cold light of morning Young men see visions And old men dream dreams And it all amounts to a warning I’ve heard I talk in my sleep But my voice is too weak To hear the words I say I’ve been trying like hell To wake myself up But dreams fall hard today And by the time I get it out of my mind Night has fallen upon me again
15.
This plane is going down Anything to make you feel better At least this time when it explodes into flames No one could say that you’re to blame I forgot how to drive That’s why I’m taking this flight With all of my shit piled on the passenger seat I just couldn’t keep my eyes on the street Now I go oooh This weather’s making me crazy Lightning keeps thinking it likes me And I guess I can see why it wants to hit But I am not a light though I am lit I’m just cruising through the stop sign Sorry officer, the radio was blowing my mind They were playing a song that’s gone out of tune I’ll take the rhythm but fuck them blues I’m not sad I’m sad I’m not sad I’m sad not sad at all That’s not bad, man, keep going, you can do it, you already did it! You can make no mistakes, you’re perfect, you totally got this! Just shut up shut up shut up shut up with all this negative vibes, all this yelling Just shut up And if your luggage got lost, you can leave without it And if you run out of drugs, you can sleep without it, you know you can! And if you want to go home, you can call a taxi And if you don’t want to talk, you can sit in the backseat Ooh
16.
Big Jacket 05:04
You can have my iPod You can have my guitar You can have my drum set You can have my car You can have my CDs You can have my DVDs You can have my refrigerator You can have my secret collection of pornography You can have my secret collection of marijuana You can have the keys to my house You can have my house You can have my cat As long as you promise to feed him every day And let him out when he needs it The cat's left eye is nothing to worry about Um, the pigment - the left eye is turning from green to brown. It's nothing to worry about You can have the trophy I found in the trash can You can have the trophies We won in the bathtub You can have my books You can have my clothes, all my nice clothes You can have my handsoap You can have my silverware You can have my piano You can have my other piano You can have my curtains You can have my lampshades You can have my rollsofducttape You can have my big jacket You won't get cold when you're wearing my big jacket You can have my big jacket You won't get cold with my big jacket
17.
It’s hard to adjust your eyes after the matinee From the womb of the theater to the light of day But you’ve got something to think about on the ride home And you’ve got something to talk about if you’re not alone Outside the walls I hear sirens Fade to black, dramatic irony Before my eyes, after the previews I can relate, you do what we do So I’m alive in the final act The spirits did it all in an hour and a half Bring me to pain, bring me to relief Turn off my brain, suspend my disbelief There’s a beautiful score I’ll never hear When my vision blurs it rings in my ears I must be saved I must be saved before the end There’s a wonderful line I can’t remember I can’t rewind so I better remember Must be saved I must be saved before the end The hero stands up and the blood rushes out of his head But you can still see him breathing after he’s dead And after the soul is gone, his body’s back to himself You’ll say “Oh, who is he? I seen him in something else” And so I pray to the movie screen That I’ll be shown something I’ve never seen A revelation, I can sense it But this part don’t make any sense yet If heaven is a film that never ends And all the characters are my friends Or is that what we call a tv show Or is that the real life that we’re living now There’s a beautiful score I’ll never hear When my vision blurs it rings in my ears I must be saved I must be saved before the end There’s a wonderful line I can’t remember I can’t rewind so I better remember Must be saved I must be saved before the end Everyone left the theater Everyone but me Could’ve been better, had such potential
18.
Jus' Tired 05:26
I’m probably just tired I’ll love you again in the morning I guess it was my fault I must’ve missed the warning That’s not what I meant You twisted the words right out of my mouth Do you remember What this was even about? I’m probably just tired I’ll love you again in the morning I guess it was my fault I must’ve missed the warning I can’t explain Just keep going round and round and round and round If you could see my brain See it pound and pound and pound and pound I’m probably just tired I’ll love you again in the morning I guess it was my fault I must’ve missed the warning My heart can’t take this Why are you trying to hurt me, if you love me, why are you hurting me so goddamn much? Honey if we keep fighting I won’t ever get to sleep And if I never get to sleep, I’ll never see the morning, I won’t ever love you again But if we get to sleep I’ll sleep next to you And honey if we ever get to sleep In the morning we will Rise Rise Rise In that bright blessed morning Rise Rise Rise Let’s get to bed
19.
I don’t feel the fear anymore Carry me through your door When it’s too late to go home We won’t have to be alone We’ll keep the world on repeat Day and night locked out on the street Time will pass us kindly by Losing feathers, we won’t mind And I’m lost just thinking about it In the clouds, some strange angel’s porch Lost just thinking about you In your arms, what I love you for When all the lights are out And you don’t know what you’re thinking about You’ve got someone to hold your head Hey night owl, come to bed And I’m lost just thinking about it In the clouds, some strange angel’s porch Lost just thinking about you In your soul, what I love you for I am asking for the moon Let the world have their sun Let it all fall to ruin You are my favorite one When it’s all gone, I love you When I'm done, I love you
20.
My ghost sleeps on the floor he can't sleep cause there's music next door I stay awake in case they need a band he stays awake cause he's a nervous young man I can't drink because the bars are closed I can't go out cause I don't have nice clothes Katie brought a deck of Tarot with her I got my fortune read, I didn't hear a word Everybody hates a clown Everybody dies and drowns Everybody throws a party Everybody throws a funeral My dad's ghost hides under the bed with a joke that'll knock em all dead and all my enemies and all my friends are on the floor right above my head my identity's a compromise my potential has been fetishized and my soul has been psychedelicized!!!! Everybody hates a clown Everybody dies and drowns Everybody throws a party Everybody throws a funeral Get your swords out Get your swords out Open up in every way Get your words out Get your words out What the hell are you trying to say? Get your swords out Get your swords out I'm the only one fighting this war Get your words out Get your words out I don't want this on the record anymore I try to grow and I just get taller I cleanse my soul and it just gets smaller and I stole every single song that I wrote from my seventeen-year-old ghost but I'm haunted every day by all the lyrics that he threw away so if there's one thing he forgot to say I hope it wasn't I love you cause I do Everybody hates a clown Everybody dies and drowns Everybody throws a party Everybody throws a funeral I had a dream there were knives in my coffee

about

A collection of songs written between the ages of 17 and 21. NOTE: the final two tracks are not meant to be in any particular order; choose whichever sequencing suits your needs the best.

credits

released August 23, 2013

An album by Will Toledo, except:

Trumpet on 'Boxing Day', 'Dreams Fall Hard', 'Plane Crash Blues', and 'Jus' Tired' performed by Amanda Schiano di Cola

Cello parts on 'The Gun Song' composed and performed by Austin Ruhf

Featuring JohnAugust as the Voice of the Law

'The Gun Song' quotes from the Neil Young song 'Down By The River'
(written by Neil Young
(c) Reprise Records)

'Knife in the Coffee' quotes from the Chamber Brothers song 'Time Has Come Today'
(written by Joe & Willie Chambers
(c) Colombia/Legacy Records)

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Car Seat Headrest

MADLO 2020. Band pic by Carlos Cruz.

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