1. |
the drum
03:53
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The drum wakes up. He’ll have a real black eye this time
Hungover dream. He hung around too long last night
The drum gets up. How will he feel about this one?
The dream throws up (he didn’t feel too good this time)
He’s got it all. He’s got it figured out
Dream in the hall back in the hospital
I’m not concerned. He’ll get it straight this time –
And if he doesn’t, fuck it –
The gun goes off. He’s always off about something
The drum just nods: the drum ain’t listening at all
The drum gets drunk, the drum reads James Joyce in the drunk
The dream falls down. The drum’s face breaks the dreams fall.
He don’t have shit. He’s learned to live w/it
The drum’s in debt – you owe me don’t forget –
That $20, interest and moral support – and if you don’t I swear –
(this is our lifetime + I am his creator)(a snowman slowly pulled apart by separate poles of gravity)
The drum goes forth. He’s got his flag unfurled or something
The drum won’t stop the drum’s a menace to the public
Hold your drum high (the drum is stoned again)
Don’t wake him up he’ll just start talking.
The drum is dead {the dream is dead)
Long live the drum (long live the drum)
And I am his creator –
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2. |
happy news for sadness
04:57
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You can never tell the truth but you can tell something that sounds like it
I liked you better when you hated yourself. Every time I think about love I think about me thinking about you
Changing your anatomy. Hipbone is connected to my heart every time I think about love I think about you thinking about me
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3. |
sunburned shirts
03:48
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I haven't looked at the sun for so long
I'd forgotten how much it hurt to
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4. |
stoop kid
04:28
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This city has its share of stairs & if you stay there no one cares
These boxes I should probably recycle.
I haven’t eaten in so long. Stoop kid’s afraid to leave his stoop.
I’d like to travel the world babe but stoop kid etc.
The concrete breaks my heart again. Some kid walks by I spit at them. The grocery story will still be there tomorrow.
I want a therapist more fucked up than me b/c I look in your eyes like a deer looks into headlights
If I had a little time maybe I could start to find my way out but every time I move my feet dance my way across the street I lose it there’s still beer cans on the step I pretend that I have kept on purpose but when the trashman comes around I just start to feel so down I can’t move
Stoop kid’s afraid to leave.
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5. |
something soon
04:22
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biting my clothes to keep from screaming
taking pills to keep from dreaming
I want to break something important
I want to kick my dad in the shins
I was referring to the present in past tense
it was the only way that I could survive it
I want to close my head in the car door
I want to sing this song like I'm dying
heavy boots on my throat, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
I can't talk to my folks, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
All of my fingers are froze, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
Only one change of clothes, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
my head is my head is my head is
stay inside all this winter
filling out forms from a working printer
I want to talk like Raymond Carver
(an advertisement cries out)
I want to turn down the goddamn tv
(he should have gone to Jared's)
binging on the latest sitcom
feeling guilty every second it's on
I want to put my foot through a window
(I document my mind loss)
I want to romanticize my headfuck
(through instruments of wordplay)
heavy boots on my throat, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
I can't talk to my folks, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
All of my fingers are froze, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
Only one change of clothes, I need
I need somethin soon I need somethin soon
my head is my head is my head is my head is my head is my head is
Let's burn this house down (x a lot)
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6. |
no passion
02:56
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betraying no emotion underneath your aviators and your flight attendant uniform perfectly tailored for your 91 degree angle shoulders fucking goddamn how I love your shoulders --- I only like people who hate the things that brought us together. ahhhhhAHHHHHHahhhhhahhhhhh. I want a man who would hate me for what I am I want a man who would leave me if I told him my deepest/darkest secrets like I would leave him in a situation where our positions were reversed. In my wildest sexual dreams [and this is true. When I have wet dreams now I just dream that I am jerking off. I cannot remember the last time I dreamed that something arousing was really occurring I have lost faith even in dreams that such a thing could ever happen]
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7. |
father, flesh in rags
04:58
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my back is killing me baby
I don't have any comfortable chairs
my spine will become warped
I won't be able to stand up straight
& I don't brush my teeth twice a day
now I will lose them all in old age
la de da de da de da
I'll have to glue some fake ones on
volcanic rock can be dated reliably
genotypes, phenotypes
and I will have my father's bald spot
dating method
C14
Have to remember not to smile
will lead to wrinkles in later life
and don't furrow your brow
your forehead will grow ridges
I wish I didn't have veins
my eyeballs can feel my heartbeat
la de da de da de da de da
hair is dead skin particles
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8. |
strangers
05:52
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if I can fit my dreams
you say the same things over and over
into an ABAB rhyme scheme
you say the same things over and over
Love is a way of passing on our genes
love is because we want to further our genes
God is a scientist he's just found out about us
he's published a study but he don't know much about us
when I die I won't become a ghost
because I’ll have nowhere to haunt
fuck this town and fuck my dirty hands
when you're strange then the critics gotta be stranger
but they're just strangers
society wants me to fuck, well fuck ‘m
car seat is a genetic stop sign
i sleep lying next to a mirror
car seat is a menace to the public
love is a way of advancing our species
love is because we want to keep up our species
God is a director he's just found out about us
he's talked to our agents but he don't know much about us
when I die I won't become a ghost
because I'll have nowhere to haunt
fuck this town and fuck my dirty hands
when you're strange then if they like you then they gotta be stranger
but they're just strangers
car seat's nervous and the lights are bright. When I was a kid I fell in love with Michael Stipe. I took lyrics out of context and thought "he must be speaking to me"
I won't last too much longer
I'm already starting to run out of places for faces in my head
they're all starting to look the same
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9. |
lawns
03:46
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December 27th: my dad walks in. I was 18 y.o. He said “our trash can’s blown over, the trash is all scattered across other people’s lawns”. So I put on a jacket and I forgot my gloves. We went outside. It was cold as fuck. He gave me a trashcan, pointed across the street. Our trash was everywhere. So we went at it like an easter egg hunt. Always more to be found. The wind started blowing every time I took my hands out of my fucking pockets. Shove ‘m back in again.
Bags from Kohl’s and Target. Different colored giftwrap + thousands of receipts. I walked from lawn to lawn, I skipped the ones with fences and I grabbed all I could. I waited on the sidewalk, for my dad I mean, but I couldn’t find him. He was nowhere to be seen.
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10. |
p.o.w.
05:10
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Prisoners of war! They won't walk another step. They're just tired and they're fighting each other again
Prisoners of war! They don't need me anymore. I'll just play my jew's harp at the prison door
and it don't seem right to make them fight all night
and it don't seem right to let them be all right
Prisoners of war! They're just humans after all, and what does it matter if they get away?
Prisoners of war! They won't need you anymore. All these borderlines have lied to us before
And they've got to stick together and they need to love each other and they need to stick together to survive
and they don't know where they're going they've just got to get away from all the soldiers that would like to see them dead!
Prisoners of war! There's no need to feel so down. You've got so much live for probably
Prisoners of war! I'd like to apologize. I see you've got your own nooses and I've got mine
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11. |
open-mouthed boy
02:59
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Last night I had a dream
I dreamed that I was pregnant
I could put my hand to my stomach
And feel another heart beating
I wanted to get an abortion
I didn’t know how to tell my parents
It gave me a new outlook on women
I thanked god that I wasn’t one of them
Who is that open mouthed boy? I think I’ve seen him in another movie
Who is that open mouth boy? I think I’ve seen him in something else
Last weekend I had a job
I had to water the neighbor’s plants
But they looked like they were dying
No matter how much water I fed them
So I looked at the sky and asked god
“why can’t you make it rain a little?”
he said “because I don’t like you”
so I called him a shit and ran away
Who is that open mouthed boy? I think I’ve seen him in another movie
Who is that open mouth boy? I think I’ve seen him in something else
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Car Seat Headrest
MADLO 2020. Band pic by Carlos Cruz.
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