How To Leave Town

by Car Seat Headrest

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touringaimlessbeachfangz
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touringaimlessbeachfangz The most Will Toledo album to exist. More so than Twin Fantasy, since these tracks are more straightforward in how personal he gets. He spills his guts no matter how it might make him look. Unapologetically sad. The most appropriate way to end the one man band version of this band. So personal this album wouldnt work as a four piece Favorite track: I Want You To Know That I'm Awake/I Hope That You're Asleep.
Víctor Toledo
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Víctor Toledo i cried with this so many times, I can't be separated from this album anymore. Favorite track: I Want You To Know That I'm Awake/I Hope That You're Asleep.
gotetucher
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gotetucher this album changed my life in like 10 different ways Favorite track: America (Never Been).
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1.
The drunk’s face breaks into sweat as his friend falls under the wheels but the headlights don't flinch and the engine doesn't stutter oh yeah think about myself I think about myself care about myself I care about myself I only care about myself and other fears too stupid to mention the ending of ‘Dramamine’ scared Degnan the way that you all see me that's who I am, but not who I need to be moving my joke body through the cold November night haha hate yourself do you hate yourself I don't hate myself I tolerate myself I wish I was someone else but it seems too stupid to mention I know I'll be ripped in heaven I was young, I was thin I had money and I loved you but then came the shabba de bop bop be shibby day oh yeah I need a name for what I’m feeling then I can start to work on a meaning speaking of the shabba de bop bop be shibby day oh yeah in a crowded room you will hear your own opinion voiced you can sit back without a word watch it spread or fall silent oh yeah If it's too late to speak I could get out of bed find a pencil and write leave it for you to find if the moment is gone to say I figured out what the problem was I'd been thinking about it earlier hey! can you hear me now? Am I alone in my futile efforts? sometimes I get so mad that I can’t do the few things I usually can which is sad Occupying space I know I take up space will there be a space for my soul in space (that's heaven to me) 98083 Post office box 295 and now I'm young, and I'm thin I have money and I love you but here comes the shabba de bop bop be shibby day oh yeah (thanks for fucking with my head, come again soon) I need a name for what I’m feeling then I can start to work on a meaning speaking of the shabba de bop bop be shibby day oh yeah (thanks for fucking with my head, come again soon) I can't hear a thing now I guess I belong to me now but when night fell on Montana I found a rest stop completely deserted but I still felt the eyes upon me so I drove away
2.
and any remaining interest my friends have in me is just “hey, hey, this animal can talk!” so all your friends are leaving town you're hiding out in your parents' house they wonder why you never go to church hard to explain why it doesn't work cause you're not living in sin well but you're not living in health well and you're a danger to yourself well and to pedestrians I co-write my songs with myself he feels the feelings I write the words I co-write my songs with myself he feels the feelings I write the words he writes down his feelings I say “what are you doing?” and he never saw the bright lights and he never had a good time and he never saw the bright lights and he never saw the good times so I sleep in my old loft bed and search for hope inside my head but even in my dreams I know the difference between what I want and what I got cause what I got is mumble mumble how are you doing? Why’s the door locked? I’ll be out in a minute second, ooh these are good lyrics, I should charge a dollar per thought and what I want... love isn't love enough at least not how I'm making it love isn't love enough I think this is the other thing don't get mad at the system you can't change the system get mad at your lover you can affect your lover like pulling out nails with the back of the hammer Spending my money in 12 dollar increments Milkshake plus tip adds up to more than I think and I admit my heart is a laughingstock but that's why that's why that's why that's why cause I don’t want to be perceived yeah as a thing you can believe in I'm an optical illusion and pretty soon I think I’m leaving when I stopped laughing and got to thinking when I stopped laughing at how much we were drinking when you never called me back while I was staring at the paint crack fun while it lasted but it didn’t last It was fun while it lasted but it didn’t It was fun while it lasted but it didn’t last It was fun while it lasted but it didn’t like pulling out nails with the back of the hammer “only her voice and bones are left; at last only her voice, her bones are turned to stone”
3.
Hey Will, why don’t you cut the shit and tell me who you’re fighting for? if you’re not taking care of yourself then what are you here for? I used to think there was an answer in the music of my youth but I just read Brian Wilson’s biography and now I know the truth because his father never loved him and the band just wanted money and Dennis was an alcoholic who drowned looking for treasure and everyone that Brian turned to just gave him drugs and took his money he was dependent on social acceptance just like every other human and now I’ve got no one to pray to and I’ve got nowhere to stay the night and it’s hard to be here at all and I am torn between trying to be a better man and trying to accept the man I am I have no faith in life to leave me satisfied I’ll have my fears and worries until the day I die and I will not go to heaven and I will not go to hell I have no faith in death to be anything at all * I feel sick * * I don't feel well * * What a disgusting feeling * * * * I don't like this feeling * * How disgusting * This feeling sucks some of these things are symptoms and some of these are being human and I am torn between trying to be a better man and trying to accept the man I am The people that I’ve talked to and the books that I’ve read and the tv shows and movies that I’ve seen are all I have to turn to to learn how to live but when? When? When? When? When? When? When will I ever learn?
4.
5.
Hello hello hello hello I'm so excited to finally be here maybe I'm a little embarrassed but it's alright it's alright just take it to the left brain shake it to the right brain try to get lost somewhere in the middle brain you could be in love with anyone but you're not in love with anyone because you're in love with me last night I dreamed Obama came to my birthday party and they made a giant banner of my face I wished they hadn't used driver's license photo but it's alright it's alright and I could sense you somewhere in the crowd and I knew that Barack would be proud because you could be in love with anyone but you're not in love with anyone you're in love with me
6.
You can drive across the whole thing in four days if you really wanted leaving custom thank you notes in all the houses you ever haunted in this whole solar system we've only met one type of life it's the living kind of life and it's not one I recognize America I said "excuse me" to the ocean because I thought I had got in its way at first I didn't think it heard me but then I saw it wave you can spend every living moment thinking how can I get out alive? but is it really then, can you really call it hey man, just shut up and drive I thought we'd be on the road all night when that ice storm hit in Texas and when we pulled into the gas station it was like a frozen oasis oh, sweet mama, does that neon sign shine for me? Is there a street where my name glows all through the night? and I've never read (America) no I've never been (America) I just never went (America) I have never seen (America) all my fantasies are faking orgasms they're only in it for the money I made up for them I trade in ideas, opinion and artistry and my face is on every dollar this is heaven but heaven is here this is heaven but heaven is hard because your lover is listening to music you don't know and you're tangled up in the headphone wires you know our problems, they don't end just because we get boy/girlfriends is this your salvation plan? there's only one type of love it's the loving kind of love but when you're mad at me it's the end of times and I'm mad at you all the other times have I ever really been in love? I guess I've never really been in love have I ever really not in the way I'm thinking real life's a mess but at least you're not paying rent you've been making it, maybe even breaking even you oughta be content it doesn't make sense you're still sitting on the fence when the yard is yours and it was money well spent and I've never read no, I've never been I just never went I have never seen America America democracy biographies civil rights! basically bright lights! living in the city second prize in a beauty pageant 200 dollars, this is life, this is your life! America! this is heaven this is the place
7.
I am not allowed to have feelings feelings would complicate this I'm a stupid ugly stuttering asshole there is no dignity in my anger mind if I cough in your ear all night? mind if I resent you for a year to night? I am not the type of man who can fall asleep in someone else's arms (Didn't mean to lie...) I love you sometimes I love you but it's hard to say there are times when I don't love I can't love anything in this world I want you to know. I want you to know. I want you to know I am. But I hope that you are. I hope that you're a it doesn't matter what I say if you don't say anything in response the final phrase of my last sentence hangs in the air, sounding stupider and stupider why can't you at least laugh I tried so hard to find the right words it's a matter of timing, you only have so long to capture the feeling before it's gone here is a demo of my newest sentence I'll fill in the good parts later I'll make it fit together real nice and cut out all the likes two days ago it was really bad I couldn't get my head straight all day and everything you said seemed to have an edge you were disappointed and I didn't know why eventually it came to a head over something as stupid as making coffee you said it was a mistake to ever try and help me then you went in the kitchen I drove off to go buy some stuff which was a mistake because I didn't want to come back I just sat in the parking lot and dabbed at my thumb, which was bleeding for some reason leaving a trail of red blossoms on the napkin I felt sick and I didn't know what to do how long would it be before I could face you? flash back to the first angry song I had to hide from you it goes like this I am hiding from you at the QFC Mikeal and Bryan broke up today but we're not like them, no nothing like them Frankie and Ava broke up today but we're not like them, no nothing like them Felice and Lanky broke up today but we're not like them, no nothing like them John and Yoko separated for a year but we're not like them, no nothing like them The Beatles broke up today but we're not like them, no nothing like them Paul said, "I just started doubting everything I did" but you're not like him, no nothing like him your parents and my parents, well, let's not get into that we're not like them we are nothing like them Degnan and Skippy haven't spoken for a while but we're not like them nothing like them no
8.
The cool thing about having a lot of artist friends is getting to see a lot of unreleased or unfinished work being tossed around casually,as if it was just another average part of their life, since obviously for them it is. At the same time, though, even though these artists will share this stuff with you freely if you're, as they say, 'in the know', you get the feeling that they wouldn't want it to be seen this way to the larger audience they're creating for - as something that can be placed into the context of a life. the shitty thing about having artist friends is getting into the front seat of their car and having to rest your feet on fast food burger wrappers and empty Gatorade bottles. It's depressing to realize that these people that you've thought had a much better hold on life than you don't really have their shit together. At least, not in the normal sense. And if I'm being honest, it does kind of matter. Apparently, it's impossible to be an artist and not have puked-in car cup holders. I'm not excluding myself from this. Ibuprofen bottle Ibuprofen box loose Ibuprofen capsules shorthand directions to Elmhurst, Minneapolis, Bozeman, Tiger Mountain Great Clips receipt with coupon attached I won't need my hair cut for months
9.
It is 2014 and I have no idea what is going on in my life Hello hello hello hello I’m so excited to finally be here Hello hello hello hello I got a little drunk before I came here frozen margaritas in Austin the birthplace of Daniel Johnston just a day's drive away from Memphis the birthplace and deathplace of Elvis (and I'm so far away from home Last night I dreamed I had returned to the land of all my favorite highways route seven) Hey, space cadet you can’t hang out with your friends even when you are with them Hey, space cadet you’re gonna need a lot of love but not the kind you’re thinking of and the times when I feel fine I’m just dancing in my mind couldn’t stay outside too long had to come and write this song hey, space cadet didn't think it'd be this far but that's the price for being a star I met you through the television screen I fell in love with the guy smiling at the audience and now this love is praecox feeling and now this love is aspect dawning hello hello hello hello it should be easier than this we should fit like a glove and a hand Hey, space cadet the things you see inside your head you'd better make other plans instead Hey, space cadet it's alright to want to dream it doesn't mean reality is mean Hey, space cadet it's time to show them what you can do what can you do, man, what can you do? Hey, space cadet...

credits

released October 31, 2014

An EP by Will Toledo

Album art by Andrew Snook

feat. Degnan as Degnan

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Car Seat Headrest

MADLO 2020. Band pic by Carlos Cruz.

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