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I Want You To Know That I'm Awake​/​I Hope That You're Asleep

from How To Leave Town by Car Seat Headrest

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lyrics

I am not allowed to have feelings
feelings would complicate this
I'm a stupid ugly stuttering asshole
there is no dignity in my anger

mind if I cough in your ear all night?
mind if I resent you for a year to night?
I am not the type of man
who can fall asleep in someone else's arms

(Didn't mean to lie...)
I love you
sometimes I love you
but it's hard to say
there are times when I don't love
I can't love anything in this world

I want you to know.
I want you to know.
I want you to know
I am.
But I hope
that you are.
I hope that you're a


it doesn't matter what I say
if you don't say anything in response
the final phrase of my last sentence
hangs in the air, sounding stupider and stupider

why can't you at least laugh
I tried so hard to find the right words
it's a matter of timing, you only have so long
to capture the feeling before it's gone

here is a demo of my newest sentence
I'll fill in the good parts later
I'll make it fit together real nice
and cut out all the likes

two days ago it was really bad
I couldn't get my head straight all day
and everything you said seemed to have an edge
you were disappointed and I didn't know why

eventually it came to a head
over something as stupid as making coffee
you said it was a mistake to ever try and help me
then you went in the kitchen

I drove off to go buy some stuff
which was a mistake because
I didn't want to come back
I just sat in the parking lot

and dabbed at my thumb, which was bleeding for some reason
leaving a trail of red blossoms on the napkin
I felt sick and I didn't know what to do
how long would it be before I could face you?

flash back to
the first angry song I had to hide from you
it goes like this
I am hiding from you at the
QFC

Mikeal and Bryan broke up today
but we're not like them, no
nothing like them

Frankie and Ava broke up today
but we're not like them, no
nothing like them

Felice and Lanky broke up today
but we're not like them, no
nothing like them

John and Yoko separated for a year
but we're not like them, no
nothing like them

The Beatles broke up today
but we're not like them, no
nothing like them

Paul said, "I just started doubting everything I did"
but you're not like him, no
nothing like him

your parents and my parents, well, let's not get into that
we're not like them
we are nothing like them

Degnan and Skippy haven't spoken for a while
but we're not like them
nothing like them no

credits

from How To Leave Town, released October 31, 2014

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MADLO 2020. Band pic by Carlos Cruz.

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